It ain’t gay if you’re underway, wearing boot bands, or it’s Man Love Thursday. Every Thursday you and your boys are free to get as gay as you want without uttering “no homo” beforehand under the protection of Man Love Thursday. Let it be known that if you go to bed snuggling your buddy on Man Love Thursday and wake up still spooning on Friday, that is no longer protected and you’re automatically gayer than cum on a mustache.

Man Love Thursday gets tricky on deployment when you start losing track of the days and the Afghan dudes fuck each other any day of the week, so I have no idea if I’m actually gay or not.