We all know what convinces the young and impressionable souls to join the military…Recruiters. There are a few good ones, but for the most part everyone has a story about something they were promised but never received.
So here are some of our favorite lies told by a recruiter that you have submitted
- Yep, the Navy has a champion bull riding team.
- Repeat after me – I have never smoked weed.
- There’s a top secret $6000 sign on bonus specific to this recruiting station, I can hook you up.
- You’re so fit, you don’t need to go BUDs, we’ll make you a SEAL right after you sign.
- Oh you want to be a pilot, gotta go 11b first, you’ll be a shoe in.
- I know there’s a surge but I’ll make sure you don’t deploy and you have plenty of time with your wife and kids.
- It’s just like “Call of Duty.”
- You’ll travel the world and fuck hookers in every port.
- We’ll pay your college loans.
- Radio Operator is better than infantry, you do everything they do but you also know radios too! Sign here…
- Of course you’ll be able to drink underage, you would be in the military. You will be a badass.
- You’ll have over 20 college credits when you graduate from Parris Island and SOI.
- Boat company is basically SEAL TEAM 6.
- You don’t want just one job, go open contract, keep your options open!
- If you feel like the military isn’t for you, you don’t have to stay, it only takes one phone call.
- Refusal to train at boot camp means serious jail time.
- Bootcamp is nothing like Full Metal Jacket. We don’t haze anymore.
- You’ll get an open invitation to meet the President.
- You’ll have the greatest and most transferable skills to the real world.
- You’ll literally only work once a week.
- You don’t really have to cut your hair and shave all the time.
- Veterans day is a free for all – you’re legally allowed to do all the drugs you want with no repercussions.
- Barracks life is like a 5 star hotel with room service. We take care of our own.
- You are truly a free man in the military.
- Snitches don’t just get stitches. They get put in dryers.
Oh wait that last one was true, Parris Island I’m looking at you…