What Lies Did Recruiters Tell You?

filipino mafia

We all know what convinces the young and impressionable souls to join the military…Recruiters. There are a few good ones, but for the most part everyone has a story about something they were promised but never received.

So here are some of our favorite lies told by a recruiter that you have submitted

  1.  Yep, the Navy has a champion bull riding team.
  2.  Repeat after me – I have never smoked weed.
  3.  There’s a top secret $6000 sign on bonus specific to this recruiting station, I can hook you up.
  4.  You’re so fit, you don’t need to go BUDs, we’ll make you a SEAL right after you sign.
  5.  Oh you want to be a pilot, gotta go 11b first, you’ll be a shoe in.
  6.  I know there’s a surge but I’ll make sure you don’t deploy and you have plenty of time with your wife and kids.
  7.  It’s just like “Call of Duty.”
  8.  You’ll travel the world and fuck hookers in every port.
  9.  We’ll pay your college loans.
  10.  Radio Operator is better than infantry, you do everything they do but you also know radios too! Sign here…
  11. Of course you’ll be able to drink underage, you would be in the military. You will be a badass.
  12.  You’ll have over 20 college credits when you graduate from Parris Island and SOI.
  13.  Boat company is basically SEAL TEAM 6. 
  14.  You don’t want just one job, go open contract, keep your options open!
  15.  If you feel like the military isn’t for you, you don’t have to stay, it only takes one phone call.
  16.  Refusal to train at boot camp means serious jail time.
  17.  Bootcamp is nothing like Full Metal Jacket. We don’t haze anymore.
  18.  You’ll get an open invitation to meet the President.
  19.  You’ll have the greatest and most transferable skills to the real world.
  20.  You’ll literally only work once a week.
  21.  You don’t really have to cut your hair and shave all the time.
  22.  Veterans day is a free for all – you’re legally allowed to do all the drugs you want with no repercussions.
  23. Barracks life is like a 5 star hotel with room service. We take care of our own.
  24.  You are truly a free man in the military.
  25.  Snitches don’t just get stitches. They get put in dryers.

Oh wait that last one was true, Parris Island I’m looking at you…

Facebook Comments