B-roll of an excited audience with announcers voice heard.
A whole new viewpoint is live with
your hosts Alliah Alliah, Noor
Sackett, Amina Navidi, and Iman
INT. VIEWPOINT TABLE - DAY
ALLIAH (Loudmouth), IMAN (Sassy hand-talking wildcard), AMINA
(Stoner blonde) and NOOR (conservative) sit around a communal
table in hijabs, faces partially shown except for NOOR.
Hello everyone and welcome to the
viewpoint, as always praise be to
Allah for allowing us to be here as
women to discuss the things Allah
asks of us...under limited
On the side, MOHAMMAD holds an AK, signaling them to get on
with the show.
So ladies, what should we talk
Mohammad clears his throat and camera pans to him holding a
cue card that reads ISIS.
Ahh yes ok then. Soo it seems ISIS
has been doing quite well lately.
They all talk about ISIS like it's a sports team.
Really?! Idk, I feel like they've
been slippin the last couple
Yes, it's true...
Amina looks ditsy.
No! They're doing much better now,
they took Mosul again!
Uhh Mosul again!?
Ahh yes and it only took them three
days this time!
That's fast for them, almost as
fast as my husband marries other
Someone throws a rock at her face for blaspheming her
Iman gets the hint and looks defeated.
Uhh yes, anyway they got some new
leadership at the company level and
now they're flying through towns
like nobody's business.
You know it all comes down to good
leadership. You put the right
people in charge and they're going
to make things happen.
Everyone agrees, the audience claps, and they start to feel
empowered (daydreaming). Mohammad senses their hope and yells
at them in Arabic. They stop their dreaming and proceed.
So let's bring out a woman who
knows much more than we do, but
still not more than a man, here she
is, the first female soldier of
All of the women look jealous.
Please welcome, Ayesha Taylor.
AYESHA, White female in camouflage joins the group. She acts
cautiously with every word.
Mohammad looks excited. All the ladies seem shocked she's
fair skinned, but still revere her.
Umm hello, Ayesha, I'm sorry I
wasn't expecting the uhhh...white.
Yes I know it's a bit odd for me to
be in ISIS and be from Connecticut
but you know, Allah works in
Ayesha nervously laughs then darts to the door. She is
stopped and put back in her chair by Mohammad.
So how is ISIS treating you?!
(on the edge of tears)
They are the best! They feed me
sometimes, I get to go outside from
time to time, and in between the
beatings and rapings they are real
sweethearts. Oh my look, an
Ayesha points to nothing, camera follows it then turns back
and sees Mohammad carrying her away screaming. All the girls
So, I almost forgot to tell you
We hear a gun shot. The girls stop for a second then regroup.
I've brought with me a surprise.
Alliah pulls out a drivers license.
Oh woooman, you did not!
All the women look really excited except for Noor.
We must burn it immediately!
Noor moves to grab the ID and Alliah stops her.
No no no Noor, it's ok, it's ok.
Isn't it wonderful!?
Noor inspects it as if it's something out of this world.
Your picture looks very plain and
Aww, thank you.
So like what kind of car are you
All the women look up day dreaming of beautiful cars.
Mohammad sees their optimism and clear his throat. He glares
Umm I would get a Ford Ex...
A wrench hits her in the head.
Ford Ranger, to help with resupply
while my husband is on a jihad.
Mohammad nods in approval.
We take now a commercial break.
INT. VIEWPOINT TABLE - DAY
Everyone sits at the table with ABDUL, more academic than
Welcome back everyone and now it's
time for another guest. I am so
excited to have today a man whose
been on Al Qaeda's best seller list
for 10 weeks in a row! With his
amazing and inspiring novel Eat,
Pray, Kill. Please welcome Abdul
Abdul sits awkwardly.
Thank you, thank you everyone. You
all have very domesticated eyes.
All the ladies seem flattered.
Told ya he was a charmer.
Everyone shuts up and it gets awkward for a few seconds.
So Abdul, you are one of the
leading authors within the
terrorist community with such best
sellers as Bomb Making 101, Suicide
and You, War in Pieces, and
screenwriter for how to kill a
grunt in 10 days and twilight.
How do you come up with all this
I really don't think of this as
genius, our prophet has given me a
divine gift and I channel his words
through my writing, there is no
thought, just do.
So you're saying you don't come up
with any of these books!?
These are the Prophet Mohammad's
words, he uses me as his vessel to
get the truth out!
Abdul affirms his thought with an Arabic saying.
Wow, even Twilight?
Incredible! Well I want to talk
about your new book Eat, Pray,
Kill, can you tell us about it?
Indeed, Eat, Pray, Kill is part
(drops his hardness)
my eldest wife makes the best
hilal, we have recipes for beja
fry, chicken biryani, and hummus
made from goat anus, delicious...
Yes, yes also I include my favorite
calls to violence from the Quran
such as "and kill them wherever you
find them", "kill for me, kill",
and "if you wear a dress and have
an animal sidekick, you're a
Yes, the last one was from Moana
but I think the message is pretty
All the girls nod in agreement.
Amazing! Well thank you so much for
joining us today Abdul, where can
your followers and newly
brainwashed recruits be able to
find this revolutionary book?
A limited signed release will be
dropped from the heavens in
Afghanistan and the rest will be
available on Amazon.
Ohh I could only hope to get pelted
with such divine scripture.
A copy of the book nails her in the head. She is hurt for a
quick second, then looks up sincerely.
Oh, thank you.
Ok, well stay tuned because after
the break Abdul will join us for
our hot terrorist pick of the week!
Hello everyone welcome back. Now
our hot terrorist of the week goes
to Razi Almurrahani for his
execution of the Tazheldi bombings.
All the women look like they're about to orgasm.
Wait ladies, check out these
numbers 257 deaths, 564 casualties,
including at least 4 U.S. Citizens,
one of which was in the military,
but he died of a heart attack.
That one still counts!
All three girls are shivering.
Oooh, I think I might need a
Yes me too.
Ugh Allah, why can't we masturbate!
Iman gets shot in the forehead with a 3 round burst and drops
dead. The women look at her shocked, then look up at
Mohammed, who is holding his AK.
Well, thank you for watching the
Mohammad has seen enough and storms to wrangle up the girls
for execution. They all head offscreen pretending to be
confident. Amina is crying, Noor turns to her.
Don't worry Amina, Allah will
Everyone heads off screen and the set is left with Abdul
sitting there alone. 3 AK shots are heard and then a new
group of four women come out wearing head to toe hijabs. We
hear the announcers voice come on.
A whole new viewpoint is live and
it starts now.
FADE TO BLACK.