Snipers Jerk Off on the Objective

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Written by Nate, United States Army.

In 2007, I deployed for “The Surge” as a scout sniper.

The scout platoon was being used as the battalion SWAT team. We were doing most of the raids in Sadr City.  One of our squad leaders had a great idea for a new game on the objective. The game goes something like this:

  1. Secure is called over the net.
  2. Everyone starts jerking off wherever they are, security and observation had to  be maintained.
  3. First guy to cum wins.
  4. If a bad guy shows up, the game was put on pause while everyone engaged.
  5. Winner got bragging rights.

I participated myself a few times before I was MEDEVAC’d and sent home.

Imagine a handful of guys watching porn before they go out on a hit and instead of jerking off,  they saved all their dirty thoughts so they can jizz all over some dirt bag’s house. You can imagine the strange places some of these guys did the deed.

One time we were playing this game during a hit. It was dry hole, no target. So we all begin to search but we still couldn’t find the target.  Then “secure” comes over the net and so the game began. Two bad guys across the street start shooting at us.  The team is forced to engage.

During the engagement one of the snipers claims victory over the radio. That really confused everyone back at the TOC. Our LT didn’t know about the game either. He got a nice surprise on the roof when he saw three guys jerking it on post.
It really put the perverted nature of our game into perspective that night.

I was hurt soon after that, so I don’t know if the game was continued much longer but I do know it was the stupid shit like that that made deployments a little easier.

So who wants in on the next game?

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