Sean Spicer Flaunts Post-Trump Body

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Barbados- In true post break-up fashion, former White House Press Secretary, Sean Spicer, has completely overhauled himself after the very public and painful break-up with former boss, President Trump. As with any break-up, the one that gets hurt the most has a period of reflection. A time when they wonder where it all went wrong and ask themselves, “why me”. Some people slip into a dark hole of despair and some emerge triumphant. That’s exactly what Mr. Spicer did.

When Sean Spicer left the White House he was at a crossroads. His career in politics was brief and ended sour and he needed to reevaluate his life. He decided to take a long break from public life and focus on himself for a while. And boy did he! He went from flab to fab! Mr. Spicer explained to Vet Tv how he turned himself into one of the world’s hottest men. “I went to a pretty dark place after leaving the Donald. Emotionally, I was unstable and fragile. I was eating tubs of ice cream per week and eating In-N-Out at least twice a day but had my Navy peers to really help guide my ship to the right port. I’m so blessed to have them. They told me I didn’t need no man like Donald to rely on anymore and that I was strong, independant, and sexy as hell. They introduced me to a classical piece of film called “How Stella Got Her Groove Back” and I knew right then that I was a Stella. I was going to transform from a sluggish caterpillar to a beautiful butterfly and spread my wings for the world to see.”

Mr. Spicer before his transformation

And boy did he. Mr. Spicer went on a strict diet of tofu and broccoli and teamed up with a personal trainer named Lamar who helped him melt away his “Trump weight” by jazzercise and jogging.

Personal Trainer Lamar

“I’ve never seen a man be more determined to bounce back from such heartbreak” explained Lamar. “We all should be so lucky to see such a specimen of human perfection. He was just Sean Spicer but now he’s Spicy as Fuck!”

Mr. Spicer plans to enjoy a couple more weeks of “me time” before making a decision about his television comeback. It’s been rumored that he will take over for Donny O’Malley as Veteran Television President.

Written By: Jesse James

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