Camp Pendelton Gate

Scantily Clad Marines Cause Numerous Accidents on I-5

In a scene straight out of a pornographic version of Grease, a group of nearly 100 scantily clad Marines caused multiple accidents today on Interstate-5 in San Clemente, California. The patriotic pranksters could be seen standing on the overpass at Basilone Road and thrusting seductively towards the unsuspecting cars below while singing the “Marines’ Hymn.”

According to a smirking Lcpl Aidan Smith, this was a form of protest. “The commandant wants us to know all the words and sing it every time we hear it? Fine, but he never said we couldn’t spice it up with interpretative dance.”

Wearing nothing but VET Tv Freedom Silkies (pictured below), the group crowded onto the Basilone Road overpass and started dancing while singing the Hymn. Numerous drivers, distracted by the patriotic and homosexual writhing above, rear-ended one another and wrecked below.

freedom american flag silkies ranger panties

Cpl John Smith, one of the instigating Marines, commented with a shrug saying, “Hey, we gotta show the American people where their taxes are going, you know? And it was totally free. Normally you’d have to pay the Chippendales for that.”

Distracted victim Jebediah Moore had a different point of view. “I saw one guy grab another guy by the penis… next thing I know, I rear-ended the person in front of me! Fuck those assholes.”

Another victim of the Marines’ shenanigans who chose to remain nameless had this to say: “In all my years living in the great state of California, I have never seen such a shameful and tasteless display – especially from those whom we have entrusted to protect our country.”

While fanning herself furiously with her hand, Princess Jefferson, originally from Norfolk, VA, loudly expressed her support of the movement. “Mhm hm! Lord. Those boys were really buttering my biscuits, if you know what I’m saying.”

We finally took a trip onto base to get a statement from the Marines’ commanding officer, Lieutenant Colonel Abernathy. “Boys will be boys,” he said dismissively. “As long as they can shoot with some level of accuracy and piss standing up, who cares if they’re gay?”

VET Tv American Flag Freedom Silkies by SOFFE are on sale now! It doesn’t get any more American than this!

basilone silkies

John Basilone Sporting Freedom Silkies. Haters will say it’s photoshopped.

P.S. this never happened, we just wanted to make you laugh 😉 had to break it down barney style for some people 

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