Compassionate Pimp

Compassionate Pimp


     ON SCREEN: USS PELELIU PRESENT DAY


     INT. BOILER ROOM - DAY

     FEDERICO, 30's Mexican vato sailor pimp, is thumbing through
     his black book posted up on a wall in the boiler room. He
     hears a knock on the hatch.

                          FEDERICO
               Who is it?

                          CINDY
               It's me.

                          FEDERICO
               Come in.

     CINDY, SOPHIE and RAQUEL, all in their 20's, enter.

                          FEDERICO (CONT’D)
               No no no, one at a time, you girls
               wait outside.

                          SOPHIE AND RAQUEL
               Ok daddy.

     Cindy walks into the room, Federico walks over to her.

                          FEDERICO
               So what we got girl?

     She hesitantly pulls a small wad of money and hands it to
     him. Federico is pissed.

                          FEDERICO (CONT’D)
               What the hell is this girl?

                          CINDY
               Im sorry daddy, business has been
               really slow.

                          FEDERICO
               I don't givva fuck about slow, you
               owe me $200 a week, so if you hand
               me $150 we got a problem that's
               gotta be fixed with the palm of my
               hand.

     He raises his hand. She starts crying.

                          CINDY
               I'm sorry daddy, I've been trying,
               but the guys just aren't coming as
               often as they used to. Im sorry...
                    (sobs)

     Federico looks around and feels bad for making her cry.

                          FEDERICO
               Ok, ok, don't get all emotional and
               shit on me gurl.

     He looks around and puts his arm around her.

                          FEDERICO (CONT’D)
               You aint gotta cry, shit. Comon
               now, have you been doin all the
               right moves?

                          CINDY
               I think so.

                          FEDERICO
               Well have you been doin the walk?

                          CINDY
               Um, yeah...

                          FEDERICO
               You sure? The one I taught you
               right?

                          CINDY
               Ummm, I thiiii-

                          FEDERICO
               Watch this shit girl.

     He does a sexy little walk. Then turns and looks at her. She
     looks and stops crying for a second.

                          CINDY
               Kinda, but I've been doing it more
               like this.

     She does a walk.

                          FEDERICO
               No no no. You gotta add the swerve
               to it.

     He does his walk again.

                          CINDY
               Ok, yeah, I see it, like this.

     She does the walk again.

                          FEDERICO
               Yep, thats it girl you got it.

                          CINDY
               Ok, I think I got this. Thanks
               daddy!

                          FEDERICO
               You know I gotchew girl. Cuz you're
               number one you know that right?

                          CINDY
               Really?

                          FEDERICO
               Yeah, of course, but hey, before
               you head out, do you mind if we
               fake a slap real quick, just to
               keep my rep good?

                          CINDY
               Oh yeah, sure. Wanna go right now?

                          FEDERICO
               Yeah. Here comes. You ready? BITCH
               DON'T EVER COME BACK SHORT!
     
     He claps his hands together real loud.

                          CINDY
               AH! Im sorry, I'm sorry Federico.

                          FEDERICO
               Now get out here before I slap you
               so hard you'll have lipstick on the
               back of yo neck!
     
     He gives her a hug and kiss on the chick with a warm smile,
     she runs out pretending to cry.

                          FEDERICO (CONT’D)
               Next!
     
     Sophie walks in scared.

                          FEDERICO (CONT’D)
               Ok, lets see it girl.
     
     She reaches into her pocket and pulls out a wad of money.

                          SOPHIE
               Im really sorry Federico but it's a
               little less than I'm supposed to
               have.
     
     He looks mad as he takes the money from her hand. He counts
     it. Then gets infuriated.

                          FEDERICO
               WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT ey? Who
               the fuck do you think you are
               coming in here short girl? What the
               fuck do I look like to you? Some
               punk ass heyna? HUH?
     
     She breaks down crying.

                          FEDERICO (CONT’D)
               Shit, I'm sorry gurl.

                          SOPHIE
               I'm sorry I've been trying my best
               but the guys don't seem as
               interested anymore. They used to
               come every week, but they're just
               not coming by my corner. I think
               it's cuz I gained weight. I don't
               get it.
     
     Federico looks around and consoles her.

                          FEDERICO
               Aight girl listen up. Maybe these
               guys just don't appreciate girls
               with some curves you know what I'm
               sayin? Are you shakin that butt
               right?

                          SOPHIE
               I think so.

                          FEDERICO
               Well are you shakin it like this?
     
     He does a discreet booty shake.

                          FEDERICO (CONT’D)
               You gotta find any time or place to
               shake that shit, but subtle girl,
               subtle. Make em want more.
     
     He does it again. She imitates it and gets into it.

                          SOPHIE
               Ok, yeah, I can get this.

                          FEDERICO
               Yeah that's it girl you got it.
               See, that's why you're my number
               one girl. Ok now go make us some
               money girl.

                          SOPHIE
               Ok thank you Federico.
     
     She goes to leave.

                          FEDERICO
               Wait up, you mind if I fake slap
               you a few times to keep my rep
               good?

                          SOPHIE
               Oh yeah for SURE, you gotta keep
               that rep up!
     
     He claps his hands together twice really loud. She screams in
     pain, then smiles, hugs him, and leaves.

                          FEDERICO
               Now don't come back light or I'mma
               put my foot up yo skinny ass. Next.
     
     This girl walks in nervously. Federico is a hardass again.

                          FEDERICO (CONT’D)
               Lets see it.

                          RAQUEL
               Um, Im really, really, sorry, I
               don't know how to say this, but um,
               I don't have anything.

                          FEDERICO
               Nothing!?

     She starts crying.

                          RAQUEL
               I didn't get any business this
               week.

                          FEDERICO
                    (pissed)
               WHAT? -Need more ass chewing-

                          RAQUEL
               I know i know! Im sorry, I don't
               get it, i don't know whats going
               on! I've tried everything and
               nothings working. The guys just
               arent interested anymore. They
               barely even look at me. I think
               it's because I lost weight. But i
               don't know.
     
     Federico consoles her.

                          FEDERICO
               It's okay mami. Come here. Are you
               eating right? You gettin your three
               meals a day?

                          RAQUEL
               Well, some guy called me fat so I
               stopped eating, and now I think I'm
               too skinny.

                          FEDERICO
               Aww pobrecita. Come here. You gotta
               eat more girl. Fuck those guys,
               they don't know what a real woman
               is. I want you to keep eating, and
               then you gotta do your butt
               exercises ok? Guys these days are
               all about the butt. If you don't
               got a butt, guys ain't gonna look.

                          RAQUEL
               Yeah, I gotta get back into my
               squats.

                          FEDERICO
               Yeah, what about these?
     
     Federico does an impression of a butt exercise.

                          FEDERICO (CONT’D)
               Or these?
     
     He does another impression. She joins him.

                          RAQUEL
               Oh yeah, those are good. Wow, I
               feel it already.

                          FEDERICO
               That's right girl. Your main value
               as a woman, comes from your butt,
               that's just like culture now, you
               know what I'm sayin?

                          RAQUEL
               Oh, yeah for sure. You're right.
               Without a butt I'm nothing. Thank
               you so much Federico, you're the
               best.

                          FEDERICO
               Aight, that's why you're my number
               one girl, now get outta here.

                          RAQUEL
               Wait, you wanna pretend to slap me
               around a little?
     
     Federico looks out the door and sees no one.

                          FEDERICO
               Na we straight, just get outta here
               and make that butt worth somethin
               aight?
     
     She smiles and leaves and blows him a kiss. He paces around
     by himself.

                          FEDERICO (CONT’D)
               What the fuck is goin on here? Why
               aren't my girls gettin work?
     
     He hears a knock on the hatch.

                          FEDERICO (CONT’D)
               Who is it?

                          DANILO (O.S.)
               It's me Danilo.

                          FEDERICO
               Come in.
     
     Federico rolls his eyes. DANILO, Mid 20's Philipino, comes
     in.

                          FEDERICO (CONT’D)
               Lemme guess. You're short?

                          DANILO
                    (timid)
               Um, yeah, how'd you know? I only
               had one client this week. It was
               the officer.

                          FEDERICO
               Yeah I remember that faggot.
     
     Danilo looks up hurt.

                          FEDERICO (CONT’D)
               Sorry, not you, him, because, he's,
               well, nevermind. Just get outta
               here and fix your shit.

                          DANILO
               Do you have any pointers for me, so
               I can do better? Maybe like an
               informal counseling or something?

                          FEDERICO
               No, what do i look like? A fuckin
               fa- Nevermind. No. Just get out.

     Danilo leaves disappointed.

                          FEDERICO (CONT’D)
               Chinge su madre, Que esta pasando
               con este pinche barco. Are these
               guys just beating off all day or
               some shit?
     
     There's a knock on the hatch.

                          FEDERICO (CONT’D)
               Who is it?

                          SHANE (O.S.)
               It's me, Shane.
     
     Federico rolls his eyes.

                          FEDERICO
               Come in boot. Lemme guess rookie,
               you're short.
     
     SHANE, early 20's male, walks in.

                          SHANE
               Um, actually, no. I made a killing
               this week.
     
     He pulls out a huge wad of money.

                          FEDERICO
               Holy shit fool. What the fuck is
               this?

                          SHANE
               That's your cut papi.

                          FEDERICO
               Whaaaat the fuck fool? THAT's why
               the bitches ain't gettin any
               business. Wait, what the fuck do
               you do?

                          SHANE
               Well, I just talk to em, listen to
               em, and make them feel good about
               themselves.
                    (beat)
               You have beautiful eyes by the way,
               has anyone ever told you that?

                          FEDERICO
               Well, um, actually no, but thank
               you.
     
     Federico blushes.

                          SHANE
               You also look skinnier, have you
               been working out?

                          FEDERICO
               Um, well I changed up my diet, Im
               tryin this new paleo thing. It's
               pretty hard.

                          SHANE
               That's so great.

                          FEDERICO
               So, did I ever tell you you're my
               number 1 guy?

                          SHANE
               No, but, I kinda like the sound a
               that.

                          FEDERICO
               Yeah, me too.
     
     Camera zooms out as they're talking.
     

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