“You miss 100% of the gunshots you don’t take.”– Wayne Grenadesky
Combat Sports Network is brought to you by our battle buddies at Botach, your home for tactical gear.
Here’s what famous Operators are saying about Combat Sports Network
- “For the love of killing” – Tom Gatlin
- “There is no I in combat” – Wilt Chamberroundlain
- “Blood makes the green grass grow” – Benny the Hornet Jet
- “Life is simple, eat.sleep. kill” – Michael JorDam
- “Pain is temporary, death is forever.” – O.J. Killson
Combat Sports Network (CSN) will be your host for a variety of highly ridiculous productions that caters to an audience of both active duty and combat veterans by glorifying modern day combat and its participants.
Shows such as “Monday Night Combat” and the “The Talibine” cover live broadcasts much like EPSN does with “Sunday Night Football” and “The NFL Combine.” Additionally, CSN also has docuseries production in “240 for 240” – a parody of ESPN’s much acclaimed 30 for 30 production – which takes a dive deep into controversial combat sports events, as well as capturing an in-depth look into the lives of famous warfighters’ past careers.
In addition to live combat sports coverage and docuseries, CSN is home to combat reality shows like “Hard Knocks: SOI”, where we follow recently graduated Marines as they settle into the School of Infantry. Lastly, the staple of CSN is our marquis show “CombatCenter,” delivering breaking combat news, live interviews, and top plays from around the league in the same fashion ESPN’s SportCenter does for “real life” sports.
New episodes of the series drop every Wednesday at 9pm ET. Here’s the schedule:
Episode 1: June 26, 2019
Episode 2: July 3, 2019
Episode 3: July 10, 2019
Episode 4: July 17, 2019
Episode 5: July 24, 2019
Episode 6: July 31, 2019
The Announcers & Teams
Sal Peters (Greg Kelly)
This savvy combat analyst spent a combined total of 36 months in the shit during a 6 year term with the United States Army. All 36 months were spent behind the wire reporting as a Public Relations NCO. Don’t let his lack of valor fool you though, Sal Peter’s knows a thing or two about combat sports. Sometimes a career of observing ops from the sidelines translates famously for a combat analyst. Nevertheless. Along with his mustache, Sal’s restraint from applying for service connected PTSD has endeared him to his peers. He’s openly admitted to being a pussy, and we love him for it.
Brett MaClanski (Cyrus Hobbi)
There’s no doubt that Brett MaClanski has 10 pounds of undigested red crayons in his gut. After slaying bodies in the USMC as an infantry machine gunner, Brett turned his ironsites to combat reporting. The only thing more exciting to Brett than maiming insurgents is watching the new era of talent come in and maim insurgents more efficiently and at a higher rate. Brett understands that combat sports is progressing towards a more intense scene as the league becomes dependent on super teams to win battles. That’s ok though, because Brett also understands that records are made to be broken, even if it means surrendering his all time in hand to hand EKIA’s.
Abdul Abdula (Greg Kelly)
Abdul showed up to the Combat Sports Network unannounced but prepared to be a difference maker. No one knows his combat background, or anything about his background for that matter. The only thing we know for sure is that his indeed.com resume was appealing enough for him to land an anchor position with CSN’s Maharaja during a time now one wanted to work for the program due to oppression in the workplace.
Woman # 43 (Jessica Mandala)
43 teamed up with Abdul Abdula this past year as the newest anchor to receive a contract from CSN. A newcomer to the network after woman #42 departure (execution), 43 doesn’t have the biggest shoes to fill, but rather the most, 42 pairs to be exact. 43 is a talented reporter, when she’s permitted to do her job.
Thomas Grady (Donny O’Malley)
The golden boy, a poster child of the infantry. In many combat sports circles, Grady is revered as the G.O.A.T – greatest of all time! His career numbers speak from themselves as he’s one of the most winningest Platoon Leaders of all time. Aside from being an all world talent, Grady is one of the most likeable warfighters of his era. Humble, charming, and fights the right way. If Chesty and John Basilone had a child together, it would probably walk, walk, and fire like Thomas Grady.
Bakar Salar (Fernando Rivera)
One half of the greatest duos to ever Jihad for the Taliban (Hanel Hanafi being the other). Arguably the most talented insurgent to ever lace a man dress up. He’s vision in the machine gun nest under duress is remarkable and his range is limitless with the PKM weapon system. He just can’t keep his hands off Chai boys. Bakar would be an all world talent if he could just stay on the battlefield. His career will be best remembered as one riddled with suspensions and sins.
Abu Fahad (Donny O’Malley)
Comes from a winning pedigree of talented Jihadist in his family, but will be remembered as one of the biggest busts in Combat Sports History. Despite being built like a brick mosque and sadistic enough to kill his own men, Abu Fahad has been an underwhelming performer throughout his career. Rival Thomas Grady of the 82nd Airborne has had Abu and the Taliban’s number for decades. However, if there’s one thing that Abu can do, he always shows up to the fight. He’s just always unprepared and ready to call his own number to desert the field of play when things go south.
Hanel Hanafi (Jack Mandaville)
The other half of the greatest duo in Taliban fighter history (Bakar Salar), Hanafi is a great guy to have in the locker room. One can go on and on about how great of a team guy Hanel is, and how he’s a great example for younger Jahadist. That’s because there’s really nothing else positive to say about him – especially in terms of his play. He’s the furthest thing from a marksman. He can’t build nor place IED’s if his life depended on it, and he is one of the best excuse makers of his generation, but hey, he’s a great guy!
Sgt. Hershel Fudge (Lincoln Blake)
Big Sgt. Fudge is one of the most decorated badasses the infantry has ever seen. He was eating babies for breakfast before Mike Tyson ever got out of bed. Bonafide body slayer and one of the most feared machine gunners to ever don ACU’s.
John McFadden (Jess Paxton)
A longtime Army Infantry Officer turned combat sports analyst after seeing zero, I repeat zero combat action. John knows warfighting like the back of his hand, he just doesn’t know how to tie his own shoes or the number for 911.
Al Mitchells (David Wellnitz)
Al, unlike his counterpart John, is a retired infantry Sgt. Major that spent his career slaying bodies while looking shit hot at all times. He’s one of the most respected figure heads in all of combat sports, and will likely enter the Hall of Valor as both a fighter and coach.