INT. BARRACKS ROOM - DAY
CPL JOHNSON, young female Marine, sits at her desk with her
headphones on, typing at her computer. LCPL RIVERA, male
Marine, walks in and sits down on the bed next to the desk.
Johnson we need to talk.
She doesn't hear him, but sees him, and hides her annoyance,
then pulls a hea d phone out of her ear and turns to him.
Hey, what's up?
Rivera is a wreck, not able to hold back his emotions, as
Johnson is reserved, taking notes periodically.
We need to talk.
I dunno, everything. For starters,
how about my wife is being fuckin
stupid as fuck.
That sucks dude.
Yeah, I know RIGHT?
Johnson is trying to subtly communicate that she's not
interested in the conversation, Rivera doesn't notice.
She's not supportive, she's
selfish, and she has no respect for
me. I'm starting to wonder if I
should just cut my losses and move
on, ya know what i mean?
Yeah man, just cut your losses I
Yes, see! I knew it! I'm getting a
divorce, thanks Johnson. I've
been feelin the divorce for a while
now, probably ever since that
swingers party when she fucked my
buddy, and I fucked her friend.
But, whatever, I'm over it.
My next wife needs to be cool as
fuck. Like, well, kinda like you.
Super chill, cool to be around, can
be one of the guys, but still super
hot. You feel me?
Rivera looks at Johnson creepily.
Umm, not really.
What? Comon Johnson, we'd have a
blast together, you know it.
I, well, not really, I'm pretty
sure this is getting weird dude.
Whatever Johnson, you're actin like
a fuckin boot right now.
Johnson is confused, Rivera is annoyed. He stands up and
Johnson looks up in anguish, annoyed at the world.
Why Marine Corps? Why, must you
have such douchebags.
She puts her headphones in and goes back to work.
CPL KELLY, male, wearing chucks with 2 ribbons, enters and
sits down on her bed.
She dreads the thought of dealing with another D-bag, then
removes a headphone and turns to him.
Ok, so my fiance is being really
stubborn and I don't know how much
longer I can handle it.
I know RIGHT! It's like we can't
agree on anything, and to top it
off, her family is being stupid as
fuck. Like, I don't know if this is
the right thing anymore ya know?
I dunno man, maybe you should talk
it out. Like, adults.
Yeah, right, right. I want to talk
it out, but if she doesn't listen,
then what's the point? Ya know? I'm
havin second thoughts Johnson. I
need your advice.
Well, you should for SURE stay with
her. I mean, don't even think about
breaking up, that's defnitely the
Really? Fuck, you know what? I
think you're right Johnson. Like,
why am I even thinking about ending
my engagement right now? Ugh, I'm
so stupid. See this is why i come
talk to you, you always have the
No big dude, just .....
I wish my fiance could be more like
you. You're like, the perfect girl.
You're super hot, smart, like drop
dead gorgeous, gentle, have a great
body, like, straight smoke show,
dime piece for days, big but-
Ok, I get it dude.
Shit if I had a mulligan I would
have totes picked you, as crazy as
that might sound.
Kelly really stares hard at Johnson to survey her body
language. Johnson's body quickly goes limp.
Yeah that does sound pretty crazy.
You know I think your fiance is
waiting for that convo bro, later.
Wait what? Did you hear anything I
Yeah I heard your hail mary - nice
Nice try? Fuck you Johnson, you'd a
been lucky to have this. And you're
not even that hot.
He walks away.
He comes back to get his cover. He grabs it, gives her an
uncertain look, then walks out. She rolls her eyes. Then
expresses extreme frustration.
Michael pokes his head in, she sees him and tilts her head
back with joy and breathes a sigh of relief, then invites him
in. He sits down and she unloads on him.
Hey bud, what's goin on?
OMG, I've been dealing with fuckin
douchebags all day!
Oh no, shittyyy. These fuckin
I knowwww. Seriously the worst.
They're stressin me out. I swear,
the word fuckboy should just be
synonymous with the word marine.
Tell me about it, I live with em!
They both laugh.
Yeah no shit!
You look tense dude, you want to
cash in on one of my massages a
little early this week??
Umm, yeah, I think I have to.
Michael changes his step and approaches Johnson.
Have at it broseph.
Michael gets behind her and massages her shoulders. She rolls
her eyes back and and tilts her head back in ecstasy.
Omg, you're seriously the best. I
can't believe how good this feels.
What are friends for?
For real. Uhhh, ohhh god.
Michael gets creepier as he massages.
I'm just sick of these fuckin dudes
man. They talk shit on chicks, but
then they come in here whining like
little bitches. And of course
they're all hitting on me while
they're telling me about their
shitty girlfriends. I'm starting to
think you're the only guy I can
Michael kisses her on the cheek. Johnson opens her eyes and
What the fuck?
OH god dammit, why couldnt you just
fuckin go with it.
What the fuck are you talking
Look, you're going to have to give
it up sooner or later to someone,
and that someone better be me since
I've already put in the work.
Work? That's what all this is to
Work, time, call it what you want,
I wasn't doing this for my
health... I PCS in 3 weeks. You
think I give a shit about our
friendship. I am trying to get mine
before I bounce.
OH MY GOD GET OUT! I CAN"T STAND
And I can't stand another night in
with Ryan Gosling.
Michael snaps a dvd in front of Johnson and tosses it on her
lap. Michael leaves pissed off. Johnson throws something at
the door, then hangs her head in defeat. She hears a knock at
the door, it's Captain Berry.
Sir, um, what's goin on?
At ease Johnson, I just had some
things I wanted to run by you.
Uh, yeah, sure.
Mind if I sit here?
He sits down on the bed.
So the BC thinks I'm a piece of
shit for getting sharpshooter, I
told him it was because my husband
doesn't respect me anymore. But
there are so many other things
going on in my life right now that
he doesn't know about. It's getting
impossible to balance both work and
family, I don't know if I can do it
While Berry is ranting, Johnson texts another Female Marine,
"these guys are such fucking bitches I can't take it anymore.
Are we still on for date night?" The responding text is, "Of
course babe, I love you."